Band 9 Model Essay & Analysis
Official Task 2 Question Prompt
People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
Band 9.0 Model Answer
Follows the standard 4-paragraph structure required by IELTS examiners
It is a fact of life that people do not like change. The main problems this causes are missed opportunities and stagnation. The most viable solutions are using self-help resources to develop a more optimistic attitude and taking practical steps to reduce risks.
People who resist change often miss out on opportunities. When someone stays in a job or relationship they are unhappy with because they fear change, they deny themselves the chance to find a situation which will better fit their dreams and goals. Additionally, many people end up stagnating. They tolerate their lives, even though they are not really happy, and find themselves in a rut because they are afraid of the risks that change brings. For instance, countless people who continue to work in unsatisfying jobs do so because they fear the uncertainties that accompany finding a new job.
One way for people to overcome this difficulty is by reading self-help literature to develop a positive mindset. These books usually contain practical tips and success stories, both of which encourage people to see that change can be extremely positive. Another solution is for people to identify practical steps they can take to reduce the risks associated with change. If people educate themselves about what to expect in new situations, they will be better prepared and there will be less risk of failure. For example, many people have been able to face their fears and apply for a new job by researching what their prospective employer requires and how to succeed in job interviews.
In conclusion, when people avoid change, it can result in wasted opportunities and being stuck in a rut. Reading self-help books to become more optimistic and taking practical measures to reduce risks are two possible solutions.
Examiner Assessment & Strategy
How this essay achieves a perfect score across all 4 official grading criteria
Fully addresses every part of the prompt. Presents a well-developed position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas throughout.
Logical sequencing with effortless paragraphing. Sentences link naturally through referencing and substitution rather than repetitive connectors.
Uses a wide range of vocabulary with natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Rare minor slips occur only as slips.
Employs a full range of complex structures naturally and flexibly. Produces error-free sentences with native-level accuracy.
Use rich collocations like "miss out on opportunities", "stuck in a rut", and "reduce the risks" to demonstrate lexical range naturally.
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