IELTS Writing Task 2 Model

Band 9 Model Essay & Analysis

Band 9.0 Verified4 Paragraphs294 Words

Official Task 2 Question Prompt

Academic & General

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

Band 9.0 Model Answer

Follows the standard 4-paragraph structure required by IELTS examiners

Paragraph 1: IntroductionParaphrase & Clear Thesis

An increasing number of people from developing nations are making their first car purchases. The principal problems this causes are pollution and traffic congestion, and the most viable solutions are electric engines and better public transport.

Paragraph 2: Body Paragraph 1Primary Argument & Evidence

One dilemma developing countries face when their citizens start to buy cars is increased pollution. One of the primary causes of air pollution is automobiles, and every additional car added to the road further exacerbates the situation. In addition, traffic jams are also becoming more common. This is because roads that were built for horses, carts and even bicycles are now clogged during peak times because of the growing number of personal vehicles. For example, there were never any traffic jams in Ho Chi Minh City 20 years ago, but with the ever-increasing number of cars, it takes much longer to commute now.

Paragraph 3: Body Paragraph 2Secondary Argument & Evidence

The first solution to this problem is switching to electric engines. These types of engines are known to be far less harmful to the environment, and as more cars use these in favour of traditional combustion engines, air pollution will improve. Another solution is to build superior public transport systems. High-quality public transport would counteract the issues currently caused by excessive car purchases as most people are already exasperated with the amount of time they spend in traffic and would sell their cars if there was a better alternative. For instance, in Japan, very few people own cars because of the incredible public transport system that is in place.

Paragraph 4: ConclusionSummary & Decisive Position

In conclusion, the main problems associated with the rise in the number of motor vehicles in developing countries are the decrease in air quality and clogging of the roads, but these can be addressed with the use of electric cars and by providing modern public transport.

Examiner Assessment & Strategy

How this essay achieves a perfect score across all 4 official grading criteria

1. Task ResponseBand 9.0

Fully addresses every part of the prompt. Presents a well-developed position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas throughout.

2. Coherence & CohesionBand 9.0

Logical sequencing with effortless paragraphing. Sentences link naturally through referencing and substitution rather than repetitive connectors.

3. Lexical ResourceBand 9.0

Uses a wide range of vocabulary with natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Rare minor slips occur only as slips.

4. Grammatical RangeBand 9.0

Employs a full range of complex structures naturally and flexibly. Produces error-free sentences with native-level accuracy.

Examiner Key Takeaway

Use strong cause-and-effect vocabulary: "further exacerbates", "counteract the issues", and "viable solutions".

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