IELTS Writing Task 2 Model

Band 9 Model Essay & Analysis

Band 9.0 Verified4 Paragraphs304 Words

Official Task 2 Question Prompt

Academic & General

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Band 9.0 Model Answer

Follows the standard 4-paragraph structure required by IELTS examiners

Paragraph 1: IntroductionParaphrase & Clear Thesis

The way which information is circulated has been completely transformed by the internet, but this has also created issues we never had before. The most serious problems are identity theft and cyberbullying in schools, and the most effective solutions are more secure passwords and tighter social media regulations for children.

Paragraph 2: Body Paragraph 1Primary Argument & Evidence

One problem related to the internet is personal information being stolen. This type of information can be illegally obtained by criminals with advanced IT skills, who can hack online servers where it is stored. Another problem is that school bullies can cause psychological distress on the internet. Cyberbullying has terrible consequences because social media can be used by bullies to victimise other students after school hours as the reach of the internet is not limited to within the school grounds. For example, in Ireland, more children than ever before are being counselled because they feel that they cannot escape from the invasive nature of cyberbullying.

Paragraph 3: Body Paragraph 2Secondary Argument & Evidence

An effective solution is to have more secure passwords. Simple passwords make it easy for cybercriminals to steal personal information, so the best defense is to create passwords that are more complex. To resolve the serious effects of cyberbullying, strict age restrictions for social media are needed. Governments must force social media companies to deny access to minors so as to remove this tool from the hands of bullies. For instance, children have to be 13 to use social media platforms in the USA, but if that age limit were raised to 16, there would be significantly less bullying.

Paragraph 4: ConclusionSummary & Decisive Position

In conclusion, the ways that the internet has led to personal information being stolen and students being cyberbullied are by far the most significant problems it has created, and the most effective solutions are to use more complicated passwords and for minors not to be given access to social media.

Examiner Assessment & Strategy

How this essay achieves a perfect score across all 4 official grading criteria

1. Task ResponseBand 9.0

Fully addresses every part of the prompt. Presents a well-developed position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas throughout.

2. Coherence & CohesionBand 9.0

Logical sequencing with effortless paragraphing. Sentences link naturally through referencing and substitution rather than repetitive connectors.

3. Lexical ResourceBand 9.0

Uses a wide range of vocabulary with natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Rare minor slips occur only as slips.

4. Grammatical RangeBand 9.0

Employs a full range of complex structures naturally and flexibly. Produces error-free sentences with native-level accuracy.

Examiner Key Takeaway

Never present generic "raise awareness" solutions. Specify exact mechanisms: "stricter age verification laws" and "complex password requirements".

Practice this prompt with our AI Evaluator

Write your response and get instant Band score feedback across all 4 criteria.

Score My Essay