IELTS Writing Task 2 Model

Band 9 Model Essay & Analysis

Band 9.0 Verified4 Paragraphs251 Words

Official Task 2 Question Prompt

Academic & General

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 9.0 Model Answer

Follows the standard 4-paragraph structure required by IELTS examiners

Paragraph 1: IntroductionParaphrase & Clear Thesis

Many artists are well supported by their governments, but some feel that this is a misuse of taxpayers’ money. Although many arts venues would have to cease operating without such funding, I feel that public healthcare is in more urgent need of the money.

Paragraph 2: Body Paragraph 1Primary Argument & Evidence

On the one hand, without some help from their government, many arts institutions may have to close. It is difficult for theatres and other such places to generate profit, so it is important that governments assist these institutions so that they can continue to provide entertainment to the public. For example, there are many open-air concerts in the summer months in the UK which would not exist without the financial backing of local councils. However, I would argue that if these places were popular enough, they would be able to generate their own income.

Paragraph 3: Body Paragraph 2Secondary Argument & Evidence

On the other hand, public hospitals all over the world are under financial strain. It would seem obvious that people’s health is of more importance than people’s entertainment, so this money should be given to hospitals to upgrade equipment and shorten waiting lists. For instance, Downshire Hospital in Ireland has blamed a lack of public funding for its shortage of nurses and available beds. Therefore, I feel that the money given to artists should be redirected into the healthcare system.

Paragraph 4: ConclusionSummary & Decisive Position

In conclusion, although there would be fewer venues dedicated to presenting the work of artists, I maintain that government funds should be put into hospitals because people’s health is a more worthy cause.

Examiner Assessment & Strategy

How this essay achieves a perfect score across all 4 official grading criteria

1. Task ResponseBand 9.0

Fully addresses every part of the prompt. Presents a well-developed position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas throughout.

2. Coherence & CohesionBand 9.0

Logical sequencing with effortless paragraphing. Sentences link naturally through referencing and substitution rather than repetitive connectors.

3. Lexical ResourceBand 9.0

Uses a wide range of vocabulary with natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Rare minor slips occur only as slips.

4. Grammatical RangeBand 9.0

Employs a full range of complex structures naturally and flexibly. Produces error-free sentences with native-level accuracy.

Examiner Key Takeaway

Conclude your discussion essay by restating the concession in a dependent clause before reaffirming your decisive view in the main clause.

Practice this prompt with our AI Evaluator

Write your response and get instant Band score feedback across all 4 criteria.

Score My Essay